One of the mediations that I sat through was, where the mediator played a counsellor on the request of the daughter who was going through the Divorce.
As the Divorce case was coming to a close the mother of the party (lady) was heading towards a nervous breakdown. Fortunately, she had come to trust the warm and friendly mediator at the Bangalore Mediation Centre.
The family was a typical middle class where the father was the provider, the mother had never stepped out but took complete charge of the household. Her only interactions were of the neighborhood ladies or the family women folk who thrived on gossip from families. She could not come to terms with the fact that she was on the other side of the fence.
Surprising, that the mother cared more of that fraternity than the daughters' well being. How and when our priorities get lost sometimes we never know.
The mediator convinced her that as a mother she needs to stand by her daughter and help her move on with her life. The father was still aloof and not used to playing a vital role on the emotional front in the family, he was suffering but had no vocabulary to express I guess even to himself.
"In our world, a divorce is SEP — Somebody Else’s Problem. It never comes home. It’s what is spoken of in hushed tones about far-off relatives when you meet other far-off relatives.
My poor mother. She became the gossip...." writes Arathi Menon, read here
http://www.livemint.com/Opinion/joSxYsgRB6THhxWW3NOYgO/DANCING-DIVORCEE-When-the-heart-breaks-again.html
I feel, here is a society thats changing surely, but rather fast for the generation before us. This is because they cemented relationships by having problems and solving them together, they went through there ups and downs. There were unsaid rules of the society. Once the children came in life revolved around them and they take priority. Yes, they do pay a price where either of the spouse specially the mother's sacrifices end up being more. This role of the woman is changing..the men are not willing to get ready...this is what I have understood.
As the Divorce case was coming to a close the mother of the party (lady) was heading towards a nervous breakdown. Fortunately, she had come to trust the warm and friendly mediator at the Bangalore Mediation Centre.
The family was a typical middle class where the father was the provider, the mother had never stepped out but took complete charge of the household. Her only interactions were of the neighborhood ladies or the family women folk who thrived on gossip from families. She could not come to terms with the fact that she was on the other side of the fence.
Surprising, that the mother cared more of that fraternity than the daughters' well being. How and when our priorities get lost sometimes we never know.
The mediator convinced her that as a mother she needs to stand by her daughter and help her move on with her life. The father was still aloof and not used to playing a vital role on the emotional front in the family, he was suffering but had no vocabulary to express I guess even to himself.
"In our world, a divorce is SEP — Somebody Else’s Problem. It never comes home. It’s what is spoken of in hushed tones about far-off relatives when you meet other far-off relatives.
My poor mother. She became the gossip...." writes Arathi Menon, read here
http://www.livemint.com/Opinion/joSxYsgRB6THhxWW3NOYgO/DANCING-DIVORCEE-When-the-heart-breaks-again.html
I feel, here is a society thats changing surely, but rather fast for the generation before us. This is because they cemented relationships by having problems and solving them together, they went through there ups and downs. There were unsaid rules of the society. Once the children came in life revolved around them and they take priority. Yes, they do pay a price where either of the spouse specially the mother's sacrifices end up being more. This role of the woman is changing..the men are not willing to get ready...this is what I have understood.
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